Twas the month before Christmas*

Twas the month before Christmas*

*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS , not Happy Holiday !*

Shopping For The Right Reason

A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids. She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season, overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, get that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, make sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

Finally the elevator doors opened, and there was already a crowd in the elevator. She pushed her way in and dragged her two kids in with her and all the shopping bags. When the doors closed, she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up, and shot.

From the back, everyone heard a quiet, calm voice respond, "Don't worry. We already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the elevator, it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

Don't forget this year to keep the one who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it, just think how different this whole world would be.

Jesus is the reason for the season!!!

Economic Plan

This is GREAT that could actually work:

This was an article from the St. Petersburg Times Newspaper on Sunday. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I thought this was the BEST idea. I think this guy nailed it!

Dear Mr. President,
Patriotic retirement:

There's about 40 million people over 50 in the work force; pay them $1 million apiece severance with three stipulations:

1) They leave their jobs. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They buy NEW American cars. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They either buy a house or pay off their mortgage- Housing Crisis fixed.
All National financial problems fixed!!!

THE RECENT TR AGEDY OF A YOUNG WOMAN BEING KIDNAPPED AND
EVENTUALLY KILLED; AFTER SHE HAD REPEATEDLY GIVEN THE KIDNAPPER A WRONG PIN TO HER ATM CARD. IF SHE KN EW THE ME THOD BELOW, SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SAVED.

SO I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO LET YOU KNOW.

IF YOU SHOULD EVER BE FO RC ED BY A ROBBER TO WITH DR AW MONEY FROM
AN ATM MACHINE, YOU CAN NOTIFY THE POLICE BY ENTERING YOUR PIN # IN REVERSE.

FOR EXAMPLE IF YOUR PIN NU MB ER IS 1234 THEN YOU WOULD PUT IN 4321. THE ATM RECOGNIZES THAT YOUR PIN NU MB ER IS BACKWARDS FROM THE ATM CARD YOU PLACED IN THE MACHINE. THE MACHINE WILL STILL GIVE YOU THE MONEY YOU REQUESTED, BUT UNKNOWN TO THE ROBBER, THE POLICE WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DISPATCHED TO HELP YOU.

THE U IN JESUS

THE U IN JESUS

Be fore U were thought of or time had begun,

God stuck U in the name of His Son.

And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,

You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.

You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,

For U, He was born; that's why He came.

And His great love for U is the reason He died.

It even takes U to spell crUcified.

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand

He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,

and this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His Upward ascension,

He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.

"Go into the world and tell them it's true

That I love them all - Just like I love U."

So many great people are spelled with a U,

Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?

It all depends now on what U will do,

He'd like them to know,

But it all starts with U.

WET PANTS

WET PANTS

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good..

Lipstick in School

Lipstick in School (You've got to love this principal)

According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem..

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance manto show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers.... and then there are educators.

To Diet or Not to Diet

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND......For those of you who watch what you eat , here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. ............

why you should always, ALWAYS... twirl once in front of the mirror

This is exactly why you should always, ALWAYS... twirl once in front of the mirror before leaving the house.

But just think how many people she made smile throughout the day.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY

In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my Client and all other atheists have no such holidays.

"The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."

The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.

"The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.

Court is adjourned.

Remember - Don't Cook Tonight

Calvary Chapel PSL and Papa John's have teamed up in an effort to bring Calvary's Mission Team to Lima Peru.

Order any one of these 3 Calvary Specials and Today (2/18) and 10% will be donated to CC Mission Team.

Special 777cc
Large 1 topping pizza
Carryout
$7.77

Special 1377cc
Medium 1 topping pizza and an order of breadsticks or cheese sticks
Carryout or Delivery
$13.77

Family Special 1977cc
Large speciality pizza and medium 1 topping pizza
Carryout or Delivery
$19.77

To order call:
PSL 772-879-1100
Port Salerno 772-288-7272
Jensen 772-692-7272
Stuart 772-283-6777

Happy Eating,

Don't Cook Tonight -

Calvary Chapel PSL and Papa John's have teamed up in an effort to bring Calvary's Mission Team to Lima Peru.

Order any one of these 3 Calvary Specials and Today (2/17) or Tomorrow (2/18) and 10% will be donated to CC Mission Team.

Special 777cc
Large 1 topping pizza
Carryout
$7.77

Special 1377cc
Medium 1 topping pizza and an order of breadsticks or cheese sticks
Carryout or Delivery
$13.77

Family Special 1977cc
Large speciality pizza and medium 1 topping pizza
Carryout or Delivery $19.77

To order call:
PSL 772-879-1100
Port Salerno 772-288-7272
Jensen 772-692-7272
Stuart 772-283-6777

Happy Eating,

I AM THANKFUL --

I AM THANKFUL --

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHESBECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAYBECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

OR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEYBECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPAB LE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFFIN THE EARLY MORNING HOURSBECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Deck of Cards

Here is a new way to look at a deck of cards!!

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.

' The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country, I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

The Five is for the five virgins there were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year. There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter. So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.

' The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?

'Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting Prayer for the Military.

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them. Bless them and their families. I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS -

(This was actually reported by a teacher.)

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent theirholiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. Theyused to live in a big brick house in Wisconsin , but Grandpa gotretarded and they moved to Florida . Now they live in a tin box andhave rocks painted green to look like grass.

They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don'tknow who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreckcenter, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, theydo exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is aswimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on. Attheir gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it.He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, andgo cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thingevery night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past theman in the doll house. The ones who do get out bring food back to thewrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardmentand says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When Iearn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I willlet people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Did you know...

DID YOU KNOW?

Peel a banana from the bottom and you won't have to pick the little 'stringy things' off of it. That's how the primates do it.


Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave themconnected at the stem, they ripen faster.


Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!


Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.


Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.


Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.


To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls ofsour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.


For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints indouble broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.


Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.


Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chopthem up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place themin a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bakeat 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!


Reheat Pizza - Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heatto med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micropizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.


Easy Deviled Eggs - Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all brokenup. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.


Expanding frosting when you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories perserving.


Reheating refrigerated bread to warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.


Newspaper weeds away - start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.


Broken Glass - Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass youcan't see easily.


No More Mosquitoes - Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away. Squirrel Away!


To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.


Flexible vacuum to get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing static cling - pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have aclingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearingpanty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! .. static is gone.

Measuring Cups - before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, suchas peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield? Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car when the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelope - If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

Conditioner Use - your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shavingcream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

Goodbye Fruit Flies - To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants - Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home, 'can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS - The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told usthat he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out theheating unit. You can't see the film, but it's there. It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free .... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said theb est way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would dot hat.

Thought I'd share!

Coffee filters

COFFEE FILTERS ..who knew!

1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers. 2. Clean windows and mirrors. Coffee filters are lint-free so they'll leave windows sparkling.

3. Protect China. Separate your good dishes by putting a coffee filter between each dish.

4. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.

5. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.

6. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.

7. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.

8. Hold tacos. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods.

9. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent the soil from going through the drainage holes.

10. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.

11. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters.

12. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them. Soaks out all the grease.

13. Keep in the bathroom. They make great "razor nick fixers."

14. OH YEAH, THEY ARE GREAT TO USE IN YOUR COFFEE MAKERS!

Reynolds Wrap

I had to go into the kitchen and check this out for myself. Whoever looks at the end of your aluminum foil box? You know when you try to pull some foil out and the roll comes out of the box. Then you have to put the roll back in the box and start over. The darn roll always comes out at the wrong time..

Well, I would like to share this with you. Yesterday I went to throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some reason I turned it and looked at the end of the box. And written on the end it said, Press here to lock end. Right there on the end of the box is a tab to lock the roll in p la ce. How long has this little locking tab been there? I then looked at a generic brand of aluminum foil and it had one, too. I then looked at a box of Saran wrap and it had one too! I can't count the number of times the Saran wrap roll has jumped out when I was trying to cover something up.

I'm sharing this with my friends. I hope I'm not the only person that didn't know about this.

Made in...

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am.

While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ).

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA ).

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY ) filled it with gas (from Saudi Arabia )

And continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (Made In Malaysia ), Joe decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE ) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA ).

And then wondered why he can't find a good paying job In AMERICA...

Three Little Pigs

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that Straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...

'I think the Man would have said - 'Well, I'll be darned!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room.